Epiphanies and reading slump | Chatty Fridays!

 

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Reading slumps.
Ive been thinking a lot about them and the reason why I’ve been constantly getting them. And not only thinking about them but experiencing one, the worst one of my entire life but something happened, sort of an epiphany if you will and that  (Wait for it bookworms!) It’s okay not to read sometimes! yes I said it.
I am aware that this a estrange statement to make, specially if you love reading and getting pulled into unimaginable worlds and lifes but I also feel is one that is so obvious that I’ve entirely missed it.

     I was never very prone to getting slumps and when I got them I would just shake them off by switching books or just taking a two day break from reading; that my friends? THAT has drastically changed in the past year. I’m not (Sort of) ashamed to say that I’ve been on a reading slump for a total of 14 months (yes that IS a year and and two months)
I haven’t read more than 10 books since 2015 and nothing and I mean NOTHING has inspired me to read beyond a couple of pages. I want to say that it has only affected my reading but this has impacted my writing and blogging resulting on me beating myself down for it
I’ve gone to the point of even questioning if I actually enjoy reading anymore and it doesn’t help that I’ve been telling myself that I have to suck it up it and force myself to pick up another book, to read another blog.

“I HAVE TO” do this has been my mind set.

Beginning of January. I was watching tv and my mom sits next to me picking up a book on my desk and she asks me (As concern as mother can be) “ Are you okay? you haven’t been reading anything since you got home.” I took a moment to answer and I just couldn’t find one thing to say. And that is when it finally hit me. the light at the end of the , the angelic chorus awaiting my entrance, The answer to my year long slump. My epiphany.
That simple question led me to an end of months of feeling so out of place with my reading. I realized that I DON’T HAVE to read more that I WANT to read.
Hear me out here, there is a big difference here “Having to” implies that someone is counting on me and that I’ve been seeing books as a chore instead of how they are really meant to be, *hint hint* Pleasure! I realized that yeah, I haven’t picked up a book in who knows how long but that is okay. Taking a break is great; doing what my heart is telling me is Amazing *Sparks*.
For some people that is an obvious concept but sometimes we don’t see the obvious things. We want to complicate them, twist them and make them into something they’re not.
So dear fellow reader Long story short, since I realized that I’ve been slowly but shortly getting back into the way of things. I’ve been reading the same book for two weeks now but thats okay; Soon I’ll finish it and eventually get back into my roll of reading, could be two books a weeks, five, seven or none and I’ll try to be fine with it.
So if you’re struggling with it, remember to just give it time. I can’t tell you how to get out the funk because I wouldn’t know seeing I’m still in the mist of one. Just remember to take this is as a journey of sorts; One in which we have to figure out on our own and realize that it’s one that wont last forever.
Because nothing lasts forever.

If you have experience with reading slumps , feel welcome to guide us out of it hahahaha

Letter To That man Who Scared me; I strongly dislike you.

Dear pig man at the grocery store,
I just feel like I need to point out a few things to you. Things that should be ingrained into your human moral but apparently somehow you missed when God gave that out, so here I am; As your personal angel of wisdom,I feel is my duty to point it out a few things since you were very much interested in me yesterday.
Let’s start with the basics here, okay? If you see a girl or a woman or whatever you would describe her (or like you called me “Shorty”) and you find her attractive don’t say things like “DAT ASS IS SMOKING!” or “why don’t you smile more?” and point her out to your friend because I’m 100% sure she doesn’t want to smile at you, she doesn’t want to talk to you and she doesn’t want to be pursued by you.
If you see a woman you like, don’t say disrespectful things like “ Oh need help with those melons?” when she’s reaching for *ding, ding* Melons. or “Is is tight?” when she’s maneuvering a cart full of groceries down an aisle.
If you see a women you desire DO Not follow her aisle after iasle when she clearly is trying to get away from you. Running from you to be exact, making sure to never turn into one of those desolated sections when she has to be alone with you.

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She is not there for your entertainment. Its a public place but her body is not, she should not be feeling creeped out by anyone. Specially not you who as a man you be defending women all over.
Don’t ever make a girl scared of you like you did to me. But most importantly, since I did have to endure one hour of this I want to say thank you.
Thank you for making want to cover every inch of my skin. Thank you for making me feel like I was just one object more on the supermarket for you to buy and test. Thank you for making me nervous, as if I need more of that in my like. But most importantly, thank you for making me afraid. Afraid that in any moment you could act on those words. for making me afraid of being alone. For putting me on a situation where I felt afraid of buying food. And also thank you for making me noticed that I am all I have. That I’m the only one who can and did stood out for myself even when others heard and saw all you said and did.

Did you really think i would be flattered by you? By your words? That I would give you my number? My Safety?  If you’re still wondering, the answer is no.
So yeah, thank you I guess. Just remember, Next time? When you see a girl alone in jeans, sneakers and a sweater In the super market buying Kale? That maybe all she wants is Kale. Not your demeaning words and obscene gesture.

When does this stop? When do men stop?

From: The girl who was basically shaking when she left the supermarket. but since of course I’m “Just  a girl” I will leave further info for you buddy *Resting Bitch Face now*

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Journey of a 22 year old into 2016?

     I’ve yet to put into perspective the things I learned in 2015. It has take me a while, hence this post almost in February. I haven’t taken the time to stop. to stop and remember all the things that at the time where hardship, all the things that made me cry, that made me laugh, that made me love. I have been scared to really take a moment to appreciate them for what they are.
           Blessings.
I’ve been scared to get hurt by my decisions and dreams.
Ive been ashamed to feel ashamed for some of the things I’ve done.
It was an interesting year. For sure.
      It wasn’t “exciting” in a big way, with the exception of finishing college I can’t say I did great things. I didn’t travel, I didn’t party, I didn’t have multiple heartbreaks, I didn’t finished that book that I wanted,I didn’t enjoyed the beach as much as I could’ve, I didn’t count my blessings, I didn’t… my year was full of I didn’t to be complete honest.
     Its a hard moment when you realize that, but I choose to see it for what it is, a good thing. Because as much as I didn’t do much of the things I meant to do last year, it was such a special year for me and I wouldn’t wish away. At all.
    2015 was a year of firsts. The year of finally looking into my life and realizing that changes needed to happen. And like people say, sometimes you really need to touch rock to sometimes acknowledge that, it took my own body telling me it couldn’t take it anymore to finally opening these eyes. I envy the people who realize and accept and confront their mistakes. I envy those who never had to suffer before making a change. but, and there is always a but, I’m glad I’m not one of those because I, apparently, am one that likes to experience mistakes first hand.

    If there is something I learned in 2015 is that sometimes struggles pay off. On this year I found things in myself that I never knew existed. I got to know and spend time with my thoughts, something I’ve avoided like the plagued since beginning college. but it was time.
Time to face the demons and move forward.
Time to leave the internet and step outside.
Time to say no to that person who came back into my life over and over to pull me down.
Time to open up my self to that other person who saw goodness in me.
Time to realize that friends are fleeting.
To know that family is the most important and that mom is still right ( Painfully so ).
To know that stepping outside your comfort zone is ideal

   This may sound extremely idiotic and\or childish to some, but this could’ve been the year I really saw me for who I’ve become. An almost adult who has no clue what the big world is. The lessons and mistakes will be with me forever and I can only hope that the love and pain of this year will move me into this 2016 with power to compensate. To achieve and enjoy and specially to be happy in my own skin.

    This thing, life, is a journey; a chapter in the grad scheme of things and that chapter was just that, just one tiny of a chapter that cannot be re-written but was the world setting for a great adventure. And i’ ll make a goddamn fun adventure out of it.

Have any of you experience anything similar? Taken 2016 by the horns and made it point to enjoy it?