I’ve yet to put into perspective the things I learned in 2015. It has take me a while, hence this post almost in February. I haven’t taken the time to stop. to stop and remember all the things that at the time where hardship, all the things that made me cry, that made me laugh, that made me love. I have been scared to really take a moment to appreciate them for what they are.
I’ve been scared to get hurt by my decisions and dreams.
Ive been ashamed to feel ashamed for some of the things I’ve done.
It was an interesting year. For sure.
It wasn’t “exciting” in a big way, with the exception of finishing college I can’t say I did great things. I didn’t travel, I didn’t party, I didn’t have multiple heartbreaks, I didn’t finished that book that I wanted,I didn’t enjoyed the beach as much as I could’ve, I didn’t count my blessings, I didn’t… my year was full of I didn’t to be complete honest.
Its a hard moment when you realize that, but I choose to see it for what it is, a good thing. Because as much as I didn’t do much of the things I meant to do last year, it was such a special year for me and I wouldn’t wish away. At all.
2015 was a year of firsts. The year of finally looking into my life and realizing that changes needed to happen. And like people say, sometimes you really need to touch rock to sometimes acknowledge that, it took my own body telling me it couldn’t take it anymore to finally opening these eyes. I envy the people who realize and accept and confront their mistakes. I envy those who never had to suffer before making a change. but, and there is always a but, I’m glad I’m not one of those because I, apparently, am one that likes to experience mistakes first hand.
If there is something I learned in 2015 is that sometimes struggles pay off. On this year I found things in myself that I never knew existed. I got to know and spend time with my thoughts, something I’ve avoided like the plagued since beginning college. but it was time.
Time to face the demons and move forward.
Time to leave the internet and step outside.
Time to say no to that person who came back into my life over and over to pull me down.
Time to open up my self to that other person who saw goodness in me.
Time to realize that friends are fleeting.
To know that family is the most important and that mom is still right ( Painfully so ).
To know that stepping outside your comfort zone is ideal
This may sound extremely idiotic and\or childish to some, but this could’ve been the year I really saw me for who I’ve become. An almost adult who has no clue what the big world is. The lessons and mistakes will be with me forever and I can only hope that the love and pain of this year will move me into this 2016 with power to compensate. To achieve and enjoy and specially to be happy in my own skin.
This thing, life, is a journey; a chapter in the grad scheme of things and that chapter was just that, just one tiny of a chapter that cannot be re-written but was the world setting for a great adventure. And i’ ll make a goddamn fun adventure out of it.
Have any of you experience anything similar? Taken 2016 by the horns and made it point to enjoy it?